Stuck
People often come to me when they feel stuck. Stuck in a career that no longer inspires them. Stuck in a job they don’t feel successful in. Stuck in patterns they want to break or habits they can’t seem to pick up.
Lately I’ve been feeling stuck. With all the busyness and stress of my work and life, my creative energy seemed to come to a full stop. The poetry and creative writing practice I had developed just didn’t flow. Nor did my nascent art practice. And the creativity I had for my coaching business dried up as well. This monthly newsletter took a pause. As did my Instagram. As did my project to refresh my website.
It wasn’t just that I was busy, although I surely have been. (Some of my most creative periods were also my busiest). This was different, I was in it. At the same time that my coaching business seemed to be getting its legs under it, I was navigating the swirl of life. There was a lot of challenge. I found myself supporting my family through various significant health challenges that impacted each of my parents, my kids, my partner, and myself. There was also lots of beauty, connective time with community, inspirational travel and art. Yet the density of everything I was up to left me in a feeling of scarcity.
My mind had been so hung up on the limits of my time that I neglected to focus on my energy. Old patterns reemerged. Rather than making space for self-care, I filled the gaps in my time with distractions. When my mind felt too busy to meditate, I turned to my email to check things off my list. When I couldn’t wind down before bed, a screen would keep me company. The things I was turning to in order to self-soothe were only reinforcing my stuck-ness.
I feel things starting to shift, and the fog of stuck-ness lifting. The density of my life has not decreased, but I’m once again making space to come home to myself. I’m choosing to meditate instead of checking my email; not every time, yet enough to remind myself that I have that choice. I’m choosing alone time to be in my thoughts and feelings, to journal and to rest, despite all the temptation of activity. I even took a candlelit bath.
Often when we feel stuck we try to do more. And in the cycle of scarcity it feels like we must do more. It can feel like we are in quicksand and must frantically try everything to prevent ourselves from being pulled under. Yet the trick to get out of quicksand is to move slowly. And the trick (if you can call it that) to get out of being stuck is to slow down. To take time to notice and not just act. To be rather than to do.
When was the last time you felt yourself stuck? What supported you to get un-stuck?
Go deeper:
Read the classic HBR article, Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time
Or better yet, take a pause from reading the internet to make space for a few mindful breaths.
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